Messages from the Universe

I subscribe to this daily newsletter - TUT Messages from the Universe.

This was todays awesome message:

What I most want you to dream of, Katharine, are possibilities that thrill you.

What I most want you to feel, is happy.

And what I most want you to know, is that you're loved.

Always,

The Universe

Spreading the love...

So its Nelson Mandela's 93rd birthday tomorrow and we have been tasked, as a nation, to do 67 minutes of goodness for someone else. So I wracked my brain on what to do and I came up with a list of 33 things anyone can do (coz I am in my 33rd year):

1. Clean out some cupboards to give to charity
2. Bake some cupcakes for an old aged home
3. Clean a pavement in my area
4. Walk an invalid person around a hospital ward
5. Make packs of goodies for sick children
6. Knit a scarf for a cold person
7. Paint a picture for a creche
8. Write a childrens story and illustrate it for a kindergarten
9. Make sandwhiches for the homeless people I see on the street
10. Help a child with their homework, and save a parent on extra lessons
11. Buy underwear/toiletries for women who have escaped abusive men
12. Spend time with children at a charity home
13. Bring a meal for a friend at work
14. Buy school shoes for a family for their kids for winter
15. Clean a park area
16. Meet you neighbours and get a neighbourhood network going
17. Buy some groceries for your maid
18. Plant a window box and leave it on someones pavement for them to enjoy
19. Call a friend you have lost touch with
20. Pop past someones house uninvited and unscheduled
21. Collect your coins for a month and hand them over to charity
22. Buy the petrol attendant a coke and a pie when he fills up your car for you
23. Walk to the shops instead of driving
24. Use your bath water to water the plants and save water
25. Buy a pair of socks for a homeless child
26. Have a friend over and just chat - no expense, no occassion, just time
27. Buy candles and have a romantic evening with no electricity
28. Let someone in in the traffic and dont expect a thank you
29. Volunteer to give a talk on something you are well versed in
30. Give a colleague your time to help them with a project
31. Write a gratitude journal entry of the ten things you are most grateful for in your life right now
32. Drop off some flowers at your best friend on an idle Tuesday
33. Make something for someone else to sell for profit

Im planning to do these 33 things over the next year - some are quick to do, some will take awhile. Just think its important to make a stance - get out there and make this place a better one to live in

Love to all you love
K.

Sunday evening goodness

I am fed, I am watered, I have cleaned the house and I am finally breathing out. There is something magickal about Sunday evenings, even when they are followed by a leave day, they are still absolutely stunning!

I have had a good day - spent enough time with people, enough time alone, watched some Wimbledon, ate good food and drank great wine (still drinking great wine).

All is right in the world on a Sunday evening. And that is good.

Thank you.

Getting over yourself

Whew - I cant lie, I have been in one of the most hectic downers over the past 3 weeks that I have EVER experienced. Nothing could get me out of it. I just seemed to wallow in this space of sadness - of just existing rather than being. I didnt want to do anything - couldnt do anything - just wanted to sleep and be home and warm and quiet and thats not me at all.

But I am in Cape Town now, and it seems to have lifted my spirits slightly. I still have lots of questions - work, life, love, hope, happiness, honesty, intimacy, professionalism, failure, fear... but somehow they seem a little more in perspective when I bring myself down to the sea. I need to do that more often, but I also need to learn to not get bogged down so much by them when I am at home.

And then that brings up the whole other question... where is home? Is it still Johannesburg, should I think about making it Donegal, Cape Town, Nottingham Road, Sandton... is the place I am in still the place I belong - what about Alaska?

Maybe I am going through some kind of midlife crisis - maybe I am going through just a crisis of faith and experience... maybe I am just getting old.

Do I have enough - have I saved enough, am I loved enough....

The title of this post is getting over yourself. I dont think thats possible until you know exactly what you should be getting over! So time to unpack these crazy things in my mind, time to break free and open up my thoughts and plans and explore them again.

But not tonight - tonight, I just need to acknowledge that I need to... get over myself and out of my own way!

Its all about balance

So I am 1 bottle of wine down... its been one of those days! The bloody cellphone network crashed and it made me realise how much I rely on my phone - how important it is for me to be connected and how much we need those silly things called cellphones.

So I needed wine, and I hopped off to the Long Beach Pick n Pay and chose a gorgeous Shiraz - The Very Sexy Shiraz. Its divine, easy drinking and now... finished.

I dont usually drink a whole bottle of wine - maybe a glass or two, but today it just seemed that the bottle was endless - until it ended :-)

Sometimes you just need to let loose - just let go and take a leap. I think it may be time to do that in other areas of my life...

We live in a world of work - so much going on, so much to do, so much to be - sometimes its nice to just kick back and let loose! I love the idea of just losing myself into an alcoholic stupor - mainly because I NEVER DO THAT - although, tomorrow morning may look a little tender, it will all be worth it.

Have a super evening... I know I will!

Small Victories

South Africa is on its way to overtaking America as the world’s fattest nation. Almost half of South Africans over the age of 15 are overweight or obese.

I have known that fact for awhile - and I am part of that statistic.

But I am also part of the statistic that is trying to lose the weight.

And I am getting there.

16 weeks in and I am around 14kgs lighter.

And that has had a significant impact on my life. Some things are just so different for me already and considering I have around 30kgs left to go... I can only imagine things will get better still.

Some things that have changed already:

• I dont need a seat belt extender on an airplane anylonger
• I dont bulge onto the next persons seat
• My face is slimmer - I see a huge difference in my face, which is startling
• I can slide into a cinema seat rather than wedge myself in
• I am not afraid of sitting on a plastic garden chair anymore
• My jeans are 2 sizes smaller
• I need  new clothes - both on my shoulders and on my waist
• My feet are smaller
• I am ok with not having dinner - I am slowly learning that there is enough, that I dont need to eat when I am not hungry, just because people say you should eat now
• I can have a small box of popcorn and know that its enough
• Enough... this has been a huge learning word for me
• Reward is not food - I can get rewards that are good for me and please me to
• The towel nearly closes 100% around my hips
• I have less extra thigh at the back - now just to get rid of extra thigh on the side
• I like to exercise - it irritates me that I cant when I am ill or flu-y
• I havent been to the gym once this year just to swipe my card - each time Ive gone, Ive worked out - and that would be around 7,600 points Ive gained from that
• I swam a mile and I could do it right now again with no panic
• I have the most incredible family and friends around me who support me
• Im finally doing this for me - not for my family, my friends, a partner, a dream man ... for me.

Just some of the key learnings...so happy!

The Top 5 Regrets by Bronnie Ware

Every now and again, something stunning comes across my email - this note, about living your truth and not having regrets is really touching - and just what I need to kick start my Monday morning!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die. Some incredibly special times were shared. I was with them for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives.

People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality. I learned never to underestimate someone's capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal. Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them.

When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:

 

I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me

　

I wish I didn't work so hard

　

I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings

　

I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends

　

I wish that I had let myself be happier

Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.

This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realize until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.

When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.

Often we would not truly realize the full benefits of old friends until our dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.

It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.

Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.

We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.

Working to hard - This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.

By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.

When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people have had not honored even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.

It is very important to try and honor at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realize, until they no longer have it

Life through a lens...

I love taking photos - I love to have my camera with me, wherever I go. I like to capture the moment behind the moment - when you are just completely immersed in the image.

Went to the sea this past week - havent been t Durban see in over a year, and it was an incredible drive down - we loved each and every moment and stopped to take cool photos, just soak in the space around us and then carry on.

We werent in a rush - with no agenda other than we couldnt be in Durbs before 2. We got there at 5:30 - talk about leisurely!

It was a really nice break though - just quiet time and chilling, with absolutely no one to answer to except ourselves and a healthy respect for each other as well.

As for photos - I love taking them, I know its the fashion right now and everyone considers themselves a photographer. But I did a photo course (black and white print course) that was one of the happiest times in my entire life and if I could have a dark room, I would definitely continue doing that. In the meantime though, I have this curious setting on my camera - monochrome and sepia and cyrillis (whatever the hell that is) and that will keep me happy with some arty photos for the moment.

So below.... a study of a rose. What a cool experiment it was - I truly appreciated it and its beauty. All shot in B&W but the rose is a divine lilac. Enjoy!

The mystery of love...

So I have been spending quite a bit of time trying to understand this incredible concept of love. Truly, it has to be one of the hardest things in the world to achieve - you like person A, but they don't like you, but person B likes you, but you feel no chemistry and then you are having a bad day and meet person C and because you are quieter and more withdrawn you don't immediately click and the opportunity passes by and then you are alone and wondering why, for all things holy, you cant find love.

I honestly think that people that have found the one, their partner, he who makes you happiest are so incredibly lucky because its like Russian Roulette - except that the gun has 17 chambers and the bullet keeps moving at every roll of the barrel.

Sigh.

I wish I had the answers, I wish I understood how to work the system but I think that love is just one system you cant work. Its fate and destiny and desire. Yes, you can make yourself more open to love, get out there, try new things, make yourself available... but you cannot ever force love.

The secret says that the The Secret to the Law of Attraction is letting go - but that has to be one of the hardest things to do when you are constantly surrounded by reminders and cues to love and its importance in life.

So again another sigh, coz I'm just never going to ever figure this out.

Swimming pool dreams

Its incredible how lost I can get in the water - I can just zone out and wander through my mind, dreaming some glorious dreams and spending time with myself. I own the lane like I am a trooper on the state line between the US and Mexico and I just swim forever.

There is no end to my strength in swimming - I can do 60 lengths without even stopping and could continue forever should I not have to go to work. As I sit here now, I just want to get into the pool and float away and swim and push and pull against the water - its glorious.

Compliments

Today I just got the coolest compliment - someone just came into my office and called me the most gorgeous lady and wished me a spectacular new year - SHINE!!!! I am so completely and utterly overwhelmed by that - what fun for a Monday.

I know that all the self help books say that you should not rely on other people to give you compliments etc. but I think its so important to acknowledge the feeling that we get from being validated by others.

Not that it should replace self validation and self esteem - but its a nice compliment to how you feel about yourself and can really give you a boost when you need it most.

Thank you XXX

A Thousand Steps to a New You and Other Incredible Goals

Listened to an addiction counsellor on the radio yesterday who was talking about the different kinds of addiction and how refined sugar and carbohydrates are like cocaine and alcohol addiction. Refined sugar addiction is like cocaine addiction, he said, because it gives you a quick high - a fast release of sugar into the blood that makes you get up and go, whereas carbohydrate addiction is like alcohol addiction - a depressant - it makes you lethargic and chilled out (imagine how you feel at the end of the day with a glass of wine in hand - chilling).

So it was exceptionally interesting. I have to say that I like that analogy - it resonates with me. And when I look at sugar and what it does for me, and carbohydrates and what they do - its exactly like that.

He spoke about taking small steps to overcome these addictions and how addictions are not only to tangible things but also to ways of doings things, thought patterns, behaviours etc. It was very interesting and his perspective was quite honest and balanced.

I think we all have little addictions in our lives and to some degree they are important and healthy, but there is such a fine line between participating in something and becoming consumed by it.

So yeah, I have started the long arduous process of actually reclaiming my life. I went to see a nutritionist yesterday and she has given me a detox plan for 5 days and then she will have my meal plan ready. I would like to lose a significant amount of weight this year - through diet, exercise but also most importantly through mindset and lifestyle change because I know that I can stick to a diet and lose weight but if I don't change my lifestyle, I will never keep it off.

I need to identify the enablers of my addiction (both internally and externally) and put things in place to make sure that I acknowledge and work with them to overcome this.

Here's to the first step - as they say, the journey of 1,000 miles starts with 1 step.

Procrastination

So I wish that I could report that I have done reams of work this week thus far, but I havent even touched sides with what I need to!

I need to get motivated. I didnt make it to gym this morning so I wanna go there this afternoon, so I can get some energy back - want to see a film as well this evening and feel like if I dangle it as a carrot it may spurn me into action this morning to do something productive and endearing. I hate that feeling of lethargy - its almost like my whole head is in a bubble and I am trying to see out of the soapy walls but all I see is blurry-ness.

I think I am going to have to apply my mind to the "10 minute rule" for overcoming procrastination. You set an alarm for 10 minutes - and apply yourself to the task for 10 minutes - when the alarm goes off, you will either be into the task, in which case you will want to continue, or you will have made a bit of headway but not enough to keep going, in which case you can stop the task and then pick it up later - and when you pick it up, you will have already started, so it will appear more palatable.

Lets see how that goes...

How To Be Alone

This is one of the most incredible poems I have ever come across

Happy New Year

What an incredible holiday I have had! Whew. Its been incredible. And its given me the time that I needed to think, to reflect and to regroup and tomorrow when I return to work, I will be in a better space.

I managed to group my new years resolutions into 3 main groups:

 1. Look After Myself

I have a couple of resolutions around losing weight, going to the gym, having all the medical tests done as soon as possible to prepare myself for this year, build relationships with my family and friends, looking good and beautiful whenever I go out, being more honest and real and focused on building real relationships.

2. Build Myself Up

I have some resolutions about keeping a gratitude journal, to remember my blessings and the goodness in life, saving for my nest egg, reading and studying more about my business, work life and practices of the strategies I write and the consumers I try and understand.

I want to work through self help books and doing creative classes and courses to enrich my soul and myself on an everyday level.

I've got plans for getting my own space, helping others and communities that are less fortunate than me and working on promotion and building up my profile.

3. Open Myself Up

As part of opening myself up, I wish to complete a physical challenge, explore my country a little more. I want to go overseas at least twice this year, focus on certain friendships and cull the ones that no longer serve me or grow me, open myself up to love and a relationship.

I want to have more dinner parties and discussions, to get home from work earlier so I can spend time with my family and dogs.

So thats just a small sample of the adventures and focus points I have in mind for 2011.

Lets hope this year, MMXI brings us all much happiness and success.